Tinder doesn’t work and here’s why

You know when you go shopping and you decide you fancy something special and you buy the same special thing that you brought the last time you wanted something special? Or, when you go to a bar and fancy trying a new drink, but then you just get the same drink you always get cos you might not like that other fancy drink?


That’s why Tinder doesn’t work. Swiping left and right is all very good fun, but why are you doing it? Are you doing it to find someone totally new and totally different to the last person you went out with because they were a dick in jeans? Or are you trying to find the exact copy of that person without even knowing it because you don’t yet realise that the reason your relationships aren’t working is because you aren’t ready for one, you aren’t choosing the right people, you aren’t actually as scared of being alone as you might think? You know, shit like that.

I think that Tinder doesn’t work because people cling to this hope that because people have found love on it before, so might they. You might win the lottery as well, win that car from that competition and get your shopping free for life all in one day. You might, or you just be better off waiting until you actually connect with someone and I don’t mean connect to their fucking Wi-Fi.

I used Tinder for awhile, then I got bored, I realised it was pointless and that I didn’t care to be on it anyway, dating isn’t a fucking game, it’s survival of the fittest if I am understanding Iliza Shlesinger correctly. I deleted the app, a few months later I found someone that I’d been searching for, for a lot longer than I had been on that damn app.

Your phone is good at a lot of shit, you can catch Pokemon with it! And I’m not saying that you don’t deserve to be happy, but maybe just take a step back, delete the app, find out who you are before you start trying to find out who someone else is. Try and find your happy place and then someone will come along and it make a little bit happier.

Jesus Christ, this was supposed to be funny!


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