I have something to say about kids in horror films and how gruesome they are. You know the kids in horror films or in particular American Horror Story, they are all fucking gruesome looking and scared the shit out of you for every second they are on the screen. I know that this is their intended purpose and that they do their job very well. However, I would just like to take a moment to prepare parents out there for this Halloween.
If you are thinking about dressing your kid up as some gruesome little bundle of joy and fear this year then please think again. I have never harmed a kid, kids are cool, they are only ones on this planet that are truly free. However, if you dress your kid like that and they scare me then I will drop kick them in the face. I am sorry about this because I know it dramatically decreases the options you have for costumes, but if they are as scary as they are in the films and on TV then I shall kick the shit out of them.
So, this is a warning to all parents out there, your kid shall be drop kicked in the eyes if you dress them up too gruesomely. Happy Halloween.
Improv word: Gruesome.