The only job I have ever had in which I wasn’t paid a paltry amount of money was filling holes in the fucking ground. I am not even kidding about that, I travelled around 4 counties in the UK, for you Americans, they are like states but smaller and don’t have their own laws (I don’t think) oh, and they don’t really have lines that you cross either, just a sign, normally with a penis drawn on it. Apart from that, they are exactly the same, or completely different, I have no fucking idea or care really!
So, back to the job, I used to fill in holes for a living. The company I worked for put gas pipes into the ground, connected them up to the mains and to whatever housing project was being done at the time and then we would come along on a big fucking truck (the technical name for it) and fill the fuckers in. I got £300 a week for doing that. £300 a week at 19 years old. That is a ball sack load of money when you are 19! I swear I thought I had won the fucking lottery! I spent every fucking penny of that money as well, every week I earned £300 and every week I spent £310, I don’t know how that is possible but I managed it.
Every other job I have ever had, I earned a paltry amount. I lived in a house in Cambridge which was falling down and had to give the pricks £250 of my £550 a month earnings to live in the piece of shit house. Just to illustrate how much of a piece of shit this house was, you could place a tennis ball on the floor of my room and it would roll to the other end of the room, the wardrobe was at a 20-degree angle and wasn’t touching the wall. It was a piece of shit but it was cheap and, for a while, it was home. At that time, I worked in a shop on minimum wage for 24 hours a week, paltry wage, paltry hours, good fucking people.
Now, I work for myself and pay myself a paltry amount of money because I am the worse fucking boss in the world and should never be in charge of anyone or anything, power goes to my head and all of a sudden, I am running North Korea out of my fucking bedroom.
Improvise word: Paltry. I am such an idiot that I didn’t even know what this word meant before I wrote this, probably still don’t!