I realise now that I am nowhere near the only person in this world that appears relaxed but is actually far from it. I used to get pretty bad anxiety, although it did go away so I am not going to pretend for one second that I know what people with real anxiety are going through. I used to drink far too much and that’s what was causing it, I think. It came to a head in Marrakesh actually, I was walking down the street and a boy came up to me and asked me for money, I panicking, froze and had no idea what he was going to do. Every possible thought was going round my mind, mugging, murder, the lot, he was about 12 and I freaked out when he put his hand on my shoulder, yep!
Next thing I knew I was in a supermarket about 2km from where that happened. I had basically blacked out and walk to this supermarket, no idea what happened in between, all I remember is that I was looking at yoghurt when I came round, that’s’ completely true, youghurt.
It got me thinking about all these cool people walking down the street, you know who you are, the ones that like this post (plug) and how they might be doing the exact same thing at that moment and you would never know. It just goes to show that you can’t judge a cool person by their cover! Cos we are all undercover, see you are cool, you’re a spy!
A person seeming relaxed does not mean they are relaxed, they might be going through torture inside and have become so used to hiding it that no one will ever know what is happening. I really hope that you get over it like I did, once again, not pretending like I understand, I just know whatever that was, I never want it to happen again!